I woke up this morning hopping all over...getting ready to spend the day with Mar Mar. You would think I was going to a Backstreet Boys concert, that's how excited I was. I seriously now feel like I've been shot down so bad.

Yeah, you guessed it...he's not coming. I'm miserable. All I've been doing is crying so much. I'm so let down. Can't play video games anymore. I tried...but my will-power isn't there. It's just not.

You would think, being frustrated and hurt would make me want to kick someone's ass...but no. I just want to curl up in a ball and curse God out for the shit he does to me.

I don't know what to do. I'm so sad. It's not Mar Mar's fault at all that it happened cause he thinks I'm blaming this all on him. Not his fault he couldn't be here...after all he was under the impression he'd be here too.

My away message has a crying heart...because that's me. Well that's what my heart is doing. It feels like it's broken. Can Mar Mar bring the ducktape and hugs and please help me fix it again? I just want Marty, that's all I want.

God please stop hurting me. Please let me have Marty. He's all I want. He's all I really need. I could get on my knees in the middle of a highway and risk getting hit by a car or several just to scream up to God that I really love Marty with all my heart and he's all that I ever wanted!

I guess I'll go think of Mar Mar...he went bowling...yeah...And Mar Mar is missing me...as much as I miss him.

@->--,

Princess Kimerella

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
Thanksgiving Break Update... - November 26, 2004
School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004