In my last entry I mentioned that I was feeling sick and going to the doctors. I knew that I had been sick for a really long time (nearly 14 months now) and that it had something to do with that mysterious illness I came down with last year.

Unfortunately in my mind, I thought my trip to the doctors was going to be a pretty good one, and that is not the case. I was thinking my trip would consist of:

"Okay, since your symptoms have worsened, I'm gonna send you to a reumatory specialist and they will evaluate you and give you medicine. Then we will monitor it from there."

Of course...that DIDN'T happen! Instead

I got, "Looking at the history of this illness and what you're telling me, you have Fibromyalgia. What that means is that you're going to be in a lot of pain and there is no cure for it. I'll send you to a psychiatrist and they'll put you on a type of anti-depressent to relieve you of the anxiety."

So I'm 19 and I have a chronic illness. I don't like it at all. How much I try, this disorder is going to control my life. I have been crying endlessly about it because I'm scared.

So, the next step is to go to the psychiatrist. I am nervous because I am totally going to think the psychiatrist thinks I'm crazy. Anything though to get me help. I don't like being in pain.

Backstreet hugs & Howie kisses,

@->--

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
Thanksgiving Break Update... - November 26, 2004
School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004