Why does this all of a sudden bother me? Well, my close friend Jackie sees how upset I get when he's not around. I never like to show him I'm upset, but I usually am. I just like him, everything about him. No, I'm not obsessed with him cause I CAN accept the fact that we're just friends, but I just kinda question things.

Like: If I were honest with Angel from the beginning and told him I liked him right away, would he have given me a chance? How does he feel about me?? I am unclear about that. Then the most important one...when we graduate, will he want to keep in touch with me???

Yeah, I think a lot about what is going on, what could've been, and the future. I always kinda rag on Angel for thinking too much, but he's made me think alot.

I guess it's because I'm 19, single, and have NEVER been in a relationship. I thought liking him would mean something, but it just upsets me.

I am trying to hang out with him outside of school, but it's impossible. Friends are supposed to hang together. I ask him to go to the movies, come over and hang out, etc...but he doesn't ever say yes. It's discouraging when you like someone and only are friends. We promised each other nothing would change, but it has. Everything has changed soooooooooooooo strangely.

People are superficial. I want to be thought of as pretty, but that rarely happens. I want someone to like me back, I actually wish Angel did like me too. I want to take the chance to get to know things about him (things he likes, etc.) and I wish he'd get to know me too. I'm not always a negative person and there is a lot more too me than what he sees. I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world, but I try to deal...I just want to be lucky with love.

Anyway, before I cry, I better go...

Backstreet hugs & Howie kisses,

@->--

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
Thanksgiving Break Update... - November 26, 2004
School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004