Sorry I haven't updated in a while...I went on vacation this weekend to the Poconos. It was a weird trip, so I'll tell you all about it. Well Thursday night I was crying to my friend Jen because it hit me that I'm 19, single, and have never been in a relationship. Actually that's not the part that hit me, it's the fact that no guy is interested in me. I told my friend that I'll be unmarried and live alone with like 10 cats. She told me that I'm not...well prove it.

So all weekend, I've been trying to shake the feeling I'm not a total failure. I did e-mail Angel before I left, but I doubt he got it or has checked his mail. I can't stop thinking about him and I think that's a bad thing. I know, we're supposed to be friends, but I ask myself sooooo many "what-if" questions and then beat myself up. I'm not a miserable person until it comes to love. I have been thinking about him, thinking about everything that has been going on. It's been hard.

Okay, so let me tell you about my vacation. When we got to the resort, I was mesmerized. It was beautiful. This mansion-like building sitting atop a hill. As we drove closer the allure really started to look less impressive. Anyway, We parked and checked in. Then we checked out our room and it wasn't bad. I looked at the itinerary and I honestly felt like I was on a cruise ship. Activities and even breakfast and dinner where at a specific time. Besides that, for all of Friday and most of Saturday, my sister and I were the only kids and my family was the ONLY family under 50 years old for the first day and a half. Talk about the Twilight Zone. We had the arcade and the recreation center to ourselves.

My sister and I played pool everyday...in fact several games. I spent most of the time in the arcade playing video games and then other times I was doing activities or drawing. On Saturday night, I sang in the lounge. It was my first time singing in front of a bunch of drunk people. I was the only person under 21 in the lounge...and everyone was like 20-30 years older than me. When I got back to the room I smelled of cigarettes and booze. YUCK!!! I sang "Crazy" by Britney Spears and yeah, I shook it like Britney...lol. Singing is my passion so of course I had to entertain.

Another odd thing about the resort (and I hope this doesn't offend any readers) was that most of the men that worked there were gay. I have nothing against gays, but it was an observation. My sister and I actually had crushes on 4 guys that worked there:

Mike - Pool boy/Adam the Dell Intern Look-alike (Nickname: "Dell Intern")

Gizmo - Activities coordinator/Sounded like Jim from Camp Jim (Nickname: "Camp Jim")

Julian - Waiter/Kinda resembled Clay Aiken (Nickname: "Clay")

Anthony - Waiter/Ace from Real World look-alike (Nickname: "Ace")

Gizmo and Julian were my sister's guys, Mike and Anthony were my guys...or at least the guys we crushed on.

We went to Bushkill falls which is a series of waterfalls. They were beautiful and I took lots of pictures. We also did peddle boats which were strenuous on the legs. We all had a good time and had some weird things happen.

Backstreet hugs & Howie kisses,

@->--

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
Thanksgiving Break Update... - November 26, 2004
School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004