I was pounded with homework these past 2 weekends and I see no end in sight...an 8-10 page Art paper, a 3 page Computer paper, a 4 page Brit Lit paper, a 2 page Brit Lit Journal, 2 Art Seminar Displays, a resume and cover letter for Art Seminar, and 3 stories for Brit Lit...

Out of all that, I just have my 8-10 page paper to finish and I finished already 5 pages. *applaudes myself* It's been all work and NO play...honestly.

I was also sick with some stomach illness and I'm still not over it. I've been sick since last Wednesday, I keep getting dizzy and I keep passing out. I've been living on toast and tea for nearly a week, but I've been getting back to eating normally. I dropped 5 pounds which I'm proud of but not proud of.

I got my hair cut...bye bye all my hair. I donated 11 inches to Locks of Love. My hair is now just below my chin. I've gotten so many great reponses from people...even though I am not sooooooooooooo totally into the hair being this short.

As my feelings for Marty get stronger, the more I wanna either starve myself or slit my throat. Clay Aiken created the best lyrics in this situation...

"Reach out, but you don't even see me... Even when I scream out...baby you don't hear me...I am nothing without you, just a shadow passing through..."

I cried so much this past week and little by little my heart gets crushed. I don't really care when people say I cry too much.

I can stand here and say that I love Marty, but I'd be wasting my time...

I'm gonna stop writing cause my thinking is gonna make me cry.

Backstreet hugs & Howie kisses,

@->--

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
Thanksgiving Break Update... - November 26, 2004
School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004