That is the me I want again. That is the me I am going to work for. I look at these entries and my mood changed so drastically...oh I still cried a lot, but at least it took like 2 minutes to pull me outta that. Now it takes anywhere from days to weeks.

At least I found another turning point in my life. After 3 years of depression and self torture, I'm ready to appologize to everyone and just be the silly me I was so long ago. I really loved that me and I'm sure my friends are going to love it to. To think of it, if it wasn't for this diary...I don't think I would've changed. And yes, I am proud to say that this change is for me and no one else. I can already see the smile on my face and tomorrow, I'm gonna walk into school like that. I'm gonna go to Friendlys like that...I am gonna be happy cause I should be happy.

I am blessed with so many talents that I've developed. I have such wonderful caring friends...*hugs to them* especially Marty, Jackie, Rich, and Jen who do everything to help me. They are just so great to me and I have to repay them somehow.

Man, I can feel the change already and it is great. Everyone was right, I can change how I react if I just stop and think. Plus the change has to come from my own want, not from what others want.

It only took now to realize it...

Backstreet hugs & Howie kisses,

@->--

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
Thanksgiving Break Update... - November 26, 2004
School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004