Concerns and Crying...
March 31, 2004 at 10:31 P.M.

*Sigh*

Oh readers I'm so about to cry. I was half way through my entry and I hit something and erased it all.

Going to work seriously makes you think. I was at work today shelving books and thinking. I am on the brink of tears. I'm overwhelmed and I have concerns. I had to seek advice because I didn't know what to do.

Today, I haven't felt well at all. I woke up seriously dizzy and in pain, but since I can't miss anymore classes, I have to be there. After class I went to the student center. I was on the verge of fainting. I am glad that I found my way to Marty's arms, because I am scared when I get sick and I don't want to be by myself when something happens. I bought vitamins and then took an hour and a half nap. Taking naps for me is daring. I am usually afraid to sleep. Marty came over this afternoon and we watched TV together.

I was walking to Speech class with Ian and he was talking to me about me not feeling well. I said to him that I guarentee with all my health problems I'll be dead by 30. He laughed and told me he doesn't want to be going to my funeral when I'm 30. I said okay...so how about 31? Truth is, I wasn't kidding. With all the health problems I experience I don't guarentee that I will live a full life.

In fact, I am so afraid to go to bed at night. I get to my bed in pain and massively dizzy. I lay sprauled out cause everything hurts. I struggle to breathe and sometimes my face gets effected as well. I lose my motor skills. I sometimes can't talk at a normal rate. Marty even told my doctor that he notices my stuggle to talk. I go to sleep scared that I won't wake up the next morning. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

Now I just want to cry cause I can't stop thinking. Advice seriously got me stuck. I guess I need to just let it go for now...

@->--,

Princess Kimerella

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
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School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004