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Concerns and Crying...
March 31, 2004 at 10:31 P.M. *Sigh* Oh readers I'm so about to cry. I was half way through my entry and I hit something and erased it all. Going to work seriously makes you think. I was at work today shelving books and thinking. I am on the brink of tears. I'm overwhelmed and I have concerns. I had to seek advice because I didn't know what to do. Today, I haven't felt well at all. I woke up seriously dizzy and in pain, but since I can't miss anymore classes, I have to be there. After class I went to the student center. I was on the verge of fainting. I am glad that I found my way to Marty's arms, because I am scared when I get sick and I don't want to be by myself when something happens. I bought vitamins and then took an hour and a half nap. Taking naps for me is daring. I am usually afraid to sleep. Marty came over this afternoon and we watched TV together. I was walking to Speech class with Ian and he was talking to me about me not feeling well. I said to him that I guarentee with all my health problems I'll be dead by 30. He laughed and told me he doesn't want to be going to my funeral when I'm 30. I said okay...so how about 31? Truth is, I wasn't kidding. With all the health problems I experience I don't guarentee that I will live a full life. In fact, I am so afraid to go to bed at night. I get to my bed in pain and massively dizzy. I lay sprauled out cause everything hurts. I struggle to breathe and sometimes my face gets effected as well. I lose my motor skills. I sometimes can't talk at a normal rate. Marty even told my doctor that he notices my stuggle to talk. I go to sleep scared that I won't wake up the next morning. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Now I just want to cry cause I can't stop thinking. Advice seriously got me stuck. I guess I need to just let it go for now... @->--, Princess Kimerella
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About Me:
20, female, no longer single (Marty 2.19.04), singer, college student, Jersey born, diagnosed with Fibromyalgia back in '03. Describes self as: a perfectionist, caring, romantic, spiritual, a bit too serious, me. |
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Loves:
My boyfriend Marty 2.19.04, The Backstreet Boys since 1997, Howie Dorough since 9.4.98, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Family Guy, Fairly Oddparents, NJ Devils Hockey, WWE Wrestling, Kentucky Wildcats Basketball, Build-A-Bear, Cinderella, singing, shopping, dancing, filling out surveys, drawing, taking pictures, Lilo & Stitch & dream interpretation. |
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Dislikes:
N SYNC, bugs(Especially spiders), being sick, snobs, being bored, football, stuck up cheerleaders |
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