A bit teenybopperish I am afraid...still want to meet all of them. How many times I've come so close to that. I've given up on a lot of attempts to meet them cause let's put it this way, I can't even count how many chances I've had to meet them.

This group has been how people know me. They have taken a back seat in my life. Do I wish I were the same old Backstreet Girl? Yes! I found my list of "You Know You're Obsessed With Howie If..." that I posted on Backstreet.net back in 1999. Since I was the creator of this list of 20 things...I did them all. Now I barely do 10 of them probably less. I laughed because when I read the things I'm like..."I really did that?" Some things on the list surprised me.

I found out that they will be guest hosts for Zootopia! OMG, I want to go. It's been 3 years since I've seen them in concert. *Admits* Yes, I'm going to be star struck when I see them...cause I'm that bad. I don't know how I'd react to Howie. He's changed a lot over the years. Still the same heart of gold...just in a 30-year-old's body. I've changed too... While trying to keep in check with them, I've got a wonderful and amazing boyfriend, 2 jobs, school, dance and health problems.

It's been harder to be a fan. It's not really accepted anymore...I mean...without complaint or conviction. I get a lot of grief for being a fan...sometimes by total strangers. Sometimes I want to pack it all up and burn it...pretend the last 7 years didn't happen. Maybe I am better off. After all, I'm only Sweety D. I'm only Kimberly Dorough...that's my persona.

It seems to bother so many people that the Backstreet Boys make me happy when it comes to music. Am I making myself happy that I have to change? Not one bit. I wish I could just do what I used to do...wear a Backstreet Boys necklace, have the pins on my shirt, or wear a BSB hat. I did that all the time. I loved every minute of it.

I'm in college now...and I am so very tempted to do it, but too afraid to be tormented. After all, I never expect people to understand this part of my life. It's something I like, plain and simple and I'm going to go with it every step of the way.

I better go...I think I'm gonna cry...

last & next
So Sad... - December 28, 2004
After Christmas Sadness... - December 27, 2004
Thanksgiving Break Update... - November 26, 2004
School Update... - October 17, 2004
I'm lost... - August 25, 2004