This entry is going to be a Kimmy first. After speaking to Marty tonight about becoming more secure and confident with myself, I decided I wanted to start somewhere so I am starting with something I have always had an anxiety with...and that is sharing things I write.

Over the years, I've written 3 stories, dozens of poems and dozens of song lyrics. It's never easy sharing something that comes from your heart and mind, because what you may believe could make you seem a little out there. You know what? I have to start somewhere. Things I write mean a lot to me, so I will now let you all read something I wrote a couple months back.

It was from a dream I had. I know that people who read it are not going to understand the format and I'd rather not explain it to you because then it takes away from your interpretation. This story is untitled right now, but I will really think of a title. I do suggest that you have some Kleenex because it gets rather emotional.

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Marie had been sick for a long time. Pain ripped through her like a knife. Most of the time, Marie just lay silent in her bed; afraid to tell her boyfriend she was relapsing. She knew her time had come and the battle was nearly over. As she blinked, she just looked at her surroundings. The pictures on the walls of her room were of her beloved whom she promised she would never part from. She turned her attention to the ring on her fragile finger. It was the promise ring her boyfriend gave to her before she was moved to Florida. She would focus on the ring for hours, just remembering the good times. When her boyfriend walked in, his usual look of joy and happiness was instead grim and depressing. He knew too that it was coming, but did not want it to happen. He sat down by her bedside and held her hand. Marie had come a long way from the girl he met more than a year ago. He remembered her gorgeous long brown hair and her sparkling emerald green eyes. She used to smile at him so wonderfully, but now things have changed. As a dying wish, she had her haircut up to her shoulders and the foot of hair was donated to charity. Her eyes no longer had that sparkle. In fact the never-ending tears that filled her eyes dulled them. She never found a reason to smile ever since the doctors gave her such terrible news. It was out of their hands now; she was going to die. John just watched her as she struggled to breathe. He picked up her hand in his and kissed it softly. Then he moved to her bed and held her in his arms. Oh how she wanted to live forever. John just kept thinking of what it was like when she did not have to fight so much. Marie felt her chest rise and fall as she breathed. John closed his eyes and held Marie tight as he thought about her.

II.

Marie got out of bed well rested. The birds were singing and the air was warm. John was so excited that he could finally hold his girlfriend without fearing that he’d hurt her. He watched Marie get up and twirl around her room, feeling blessed that another day was in front of her. She could not wait to kiss the lips of her love. John walked over to Marie and filled her with passion. The gentlest feeling to ever pass her lips and she got to feel it every day. He helped Marie pick out something to wear to go out to the park on their picnic. Every feature of her body glowed. She looked completely healthy and rosy. John knew he wanted to marry her. She was everything he was looking for. She understood how difficult his career was and she was more than supportive. He caressed her vanilla skin, as he gazed into her emerald green eyes. He left Marie to change and after five minutes, he clutched the doorknob of Marie’s bedroom door and slowly walked in. Marie sat on her bed, tediously tying her shoelaces. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw John glance down at her. Marie got up off her bed and put her arms around John. She was so happy that she was able to live her life normally again. After all, she faced quite a scare from the doctor. John held her hand through the blood tests, watching as Marie flinched in pain from the needle. Both feared the worst since they did not understand what was happening. When all the tests came back, John and Marie were relieved. They could finally go on with their lives.

John packed a picnic basket full of surprises to give to Marie. It was their first date since before she had been sick. He could not help but admire her strength and beauty. He could tell she was very happy. At the park, he set out the blanket, checkered red and white just like in traditional picnics. He watched Marie close her eyes and breathe in the intoxicating fresh air. As she did so, John picked a flower a daisy from the earth and held it up to her. When Marie opened her eyes, she was greeted with a delicate and nearly perfect white daisy. Marie knelt next to John and kissed him. He watched her place the flower in her long hair. Carefully, John unpacked the picnic basket and placed everything in front of them. He cooked her favorite food; Penne with vodka sauce. To him, it was a romantic and heart-felt step up from triangle-cut turkey sandwiches. He pulled out a bottle of sparkling apple cider and filled two champagne flutes up. Knowledgeable of her dislike of alcohol, he knew that sparking apple cider would be perfect. A smile on her face was the most important thing to him. He never liked when she would cry, because he felt as if he were doing something wrong. Marie always assured him that it was not he but just stress. The day passed quickly and by early evening, John had Marie lying in his arms under the maple tree where their blanket was. They braced themselves for a beautiful sunset. It is what John wanted Marie to have: a perfect day followed by a perfect sunset. As she watched the sun go down, Marie began to grow fatigued. John used his fingers to move the hair away from Marie’s face as she slept. He sat holding Marie, watching the last bit of sunlight fade away. The night had almost been perfect, but a bell tolled and ripped through the quiet skies. It was a loud bell, and it held John at attention and wide-awake. He looked down at Marie who slept through the bell tolls.

III.

John stopped daydreaming once he realized that the bells were all too real. He stood with a bouquet of flowers in his arms, looking down at his beloved. Filled with anger and sadness that God had taken his love, he leaned over and gave her one last kiss. There she lay, like Sleeping Beauty, waiting to be awoken, but it did not work like that. Marie and John were apart as fast as they were together. He took her favorite flowers, purple roses, and placed them on the casket. He just kept looking at his beautiful girlfriend, now silent forever. If he could have told her how he felt before she was taken away, he would have said everything that was in his heart and on his mind. John stepped back and cried. As tears distorted his vision, he felt the intense persuasion of his heart to rescue her from leaving him forever. Instead, he he fell to his knees knowing it was his final goodbye.

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It's a short story if you can tell, and I am really taken back at the fact that I wrote this. It's something I am really proud of.

Marty, I want to tell you that I LOVE YOU! Yes, that is correct, I love him and I'd hate to ever think of being apart from him. Though this is the only story I've written based on a nightmare, it's one that will impact people. Marty, I vow to you that I will never leave your side and you need not worry. You're the air I breathe and the reason I am living my life. I miss you terribly and wish I could hold you close all the time. Becoming more confident is going to start happening one day at a time. When you said "I Love You" to me yesterday, I wanted to cry because I've wanted to say it to you. Everytime I tell you that I love you, I mean it with every fiber of my being. Last night at the movies and then for icecream was so wonderful. I loved when you smiled back at me in the movie theatre. It was an overwhelmingly wonderful feeling. Ice cream afterwards was great too. Sitting and talking to you about so many things was just so wonderful. It made me smile even more. You're my life and my happiness.

@->--

Princess Kimerella

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